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The Thinker?

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There’s No Place Like a Haunted House

I love haunted houses!

No, I’m not talking about places where people believe the restless spirits of the dearly (and not-so-dearly) departed hang out. I’m talking about haunted house attractions. You know, the places where you pay money to wander around a dark labyrinth while actors in ghoul costumes chase you.

Surprisingly, this is something I’ve gotten into in the last few years. I occasionally experienced similar events growing up—like a “haunted barn” at a 4-H party or a “haunted hike” while at summer camp—but I didn’t make an effort to visit these yearly attractions despite hearing about the more popular ones in Fort Wayne, Indiana (the largest “big city” to me). Once I visited one, I instantly loved them.

Hundreds of people stand in line to visit the Haunted Jail in 2012. Photo by Nathan Marchand.
Hundreds of people stand in line to visit the Haunted Jail in 2012. Photo by Nathan Marchand.
The entrance to Soul Taker's Acres in 2012. Photo by Nathan Marchand.
The entrance to Soul Taker’s Acres in 2012. Photo by Nathan Marchand.

There are two that I make sure to visit every year: Soul Taker’s Acres in Warsaw, Indiana and the Haunted Jail in Columbia City, Indiana. While quite different in many ways (and also rivals), they share one thing in common: both are small-town attractions. I love that about them. It adds a homespun, down-to-earth flavor to them. They may not have the crazy production values of places like the Indy Scream Park in Indianapolis, but they make up for it with ingenuity.  Both places have volunteer actors, most of them kids or teens. The costumes, make-up and props are donated by the actors and/or organizers. Sometimes they get lucky and have some high-quality stuff, but for the most part they rely on making the best with what they have. Honestly, they’re consistently scarier than the big-budget haunted houses, like the one I went to at Cedar Point a few years ago, which was boring.

Me giving the Soul Taker himself (at least, I think it's him) a much-needed backrub in 2015. Photo by Sergio Garza.
Me giving the Soul Taker himself (at least, I think it’s him) a much-needed backrub in 2015. Photo by Sergio Garza.
My friend Sergio Garza (left) and I preparing to hunt some zombies. "We got this guys! We got it by the @$$!"
My friend Sergio Garza (left) and I preparing to hunt some zombies. “We got this, guys! We got it by the @$$!”

Men suffering from erectile failure problems use anti-ED medications such as Kamagra and find out that buy cheap levitra at a fraction of the cost If you are facing problem of erectile dysfunction, and planning to try levitra, then beware… these drugs are prescribed by doctors and it must only be taken when it is advised to be taken. Erectile dysfunction happens to be a sexual disease which males from all age groups tend to suffer from, in varying proportions. online levitra india cheap cialis They could not know what they were missing. A person may not be able to tolerate fatty foods or eating during stressful situations. levitra pharmacy purchase Soul Taker’s Acres greatest strength—besides kid actors who are freakishly good at their jobs (seriously, they once had a scary little girl in one hallway who almost made me turn back)—is the organizers’ willingness to try new things almost every year. Since it’s set up at the Kosciusko County Fairgrounds, they take advantage of the location. One year they had a sideshow featuring macabre items like a vampire hunter’s kit and John Dillinger’s death mask.  Another year they hung a huge white sheet in a barn, set up some chairs and a projector, and showed old public domain horror movies. It was showing George Romero’s classic Night of the Living Dead when I was there. This year they got even more ambitious by adding a secondary attraction that promised patrons they could “get even” after surviving the haunted house: The Zombie Hunt. For an additional charge, patrons could ride a cart pulled by a tractor and shoot “zombies” (probably 4-H kids wearing helmets and protective gear) with paintball guns. This, was genius. It offered a different kind of thrill while also tapping into the popularity of things like The Walking Dead. I’ve yet to hear of any other haunted-house attraction that does something like this.

Deimos Nosferatu, the caretaker of the Haunted Jail in 2012. Photo by Nathan Marchand.
Deimos Nosferatu, the caretaker of the Haunted Jail in 2012. Photo by Nathan Marchand.
My brother Jarod Marchand (far left) and I (far right) hanging out with one of the Haunted Jail's many inmates (who's actually my co-worker Josh Case) in 2013.
My brother Jarod Marchand (far left) and I (far right) hanging out with one of the Haunted Jail’s many inmates James “The Cutter” Johnson in 2013.

The Haunted Jail’s greatest asset is its setting. The “jail” part isn’t a gimmick: it’s actually the old Whitley County jail. The building is 140 years old and has a scary history before becoming a Halloween attraction in 1985. Many think it is actually haunted. The old jail is the site of the one and only execution performed in Whitley County. In March 1884, a man named Charles Butler was hanged for murdering his wife, but his neck didn’t break. Instead, he suffocated for 10 minutes, dying in the front room of the old brick building. There have been ghost sightings there ever since. However, if there are spirits present, they don’t seem to mind the thousands of people who’ve explored the jail every Halloween season. While only a few rooms have extensive props and scary décor, the place’s eerie history and appearance add natural atmosphere.

Patrons can even walk through the old jail cells in the basement, which has only the barest minimum of light. The actors know every nook and cranny, allowing them to find the perfect places to hide before jumping out of the shadows. I don’t scare easily, but this year they terrified me. The final stretch this year was one of the best. A tall, skinny guy in zombie make-up shambled up to patrons, hands outstretched. Then seemingly out of nowhere, he produced a chainsaw and revved it. He chased my friend and I through a maze until we exited by the concession stand. We enjoyed ourselves so much, we went a second time.

If you have any haunted house attractions in your area, visit them. Nothing can get you in the Halloween spirit like braving ghouls and ghosts determined to make you scream like a baby. With Halloween falling on a Saturday this year, it’d be a great way to enjoy the evening—

If you dare!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqBR8knRM2w]

KontrolFreek Grips Are a Solid Purchase

KontrolFreek has released a new product called KontrolFreek Grips, “. . . a multi-layer controller overlay that adheres directly to Xbox One and PlayStation 4 controllers.”

KontrolFreek Grips PS4
I did not review the green FPS Freek CQC Signature analog stick controller extensions pictured above.

To get straight to the point, the grips are pretty solid. From NBA 2k15 to Elder Scrolls Online, Batman: Arkham Knight to Battlefield: Hardline, not a single time did my grip slip. The grips took some getting used to because they add a slight amount of extra bulk to my PS4 controller, but now I find it odd to play without them. The grips are a comfortable foam cushion for my hands, much like memory foam. Honestly, I’m as close to being one with my controller as I can be without surgery.

I’ve never really been the one to suffer from sweaty palms while gaming, but I have definitely noticed my hands are a lot cooler after long hours of gaming. The foam layer is a breathable material, which prevents sweating and doesn’t trap heat.  Also, the materials used are anti-microbial, meaning the grips are anti-bacterial, anti-fungus, and anti-odor.

While seemingly simple, KontrolFreek Grips are the result of years of research and development. – Ashish Mistry, CEO of KontrolFreek

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KontrolFreek Grips PS4

Performance gaming gear is usually not high on the list of things I look for in accessories, but I’m definitely glad to have these. Now, if you will excuse me, I have hours of comfortable gameplay to get back to.

These grips and other performance gaming gear can be purchased on the KontrolFreek website for $12.99 (currently 32% off) for both the PS4 and the Xbox One.

Whoops: NYPD Removes 40 Morphsuit Mannequins from GAP

Forty members of Improv Everywhere were arrested for posing as mannequins in a Manhattan GAP.

Memebers of Improv Everywhere being arrested
It does look like mannequins are being arrested.

The members were dressed in Morphsuits and posed in various parts of the store. Unfortunately, the store employees weren’t in on the joke and called the police. The group’s founder, Charlie Todd, said “Many of the customers and employees had a good laugh, but five minutes later the police arrived after the store had called them. Many of the members were initially handcuffed but they eventually left the store and no charges were filed.”

Members of Improv Everywhere being arrested

Improve Everywhere is a comedy group that believes in “organized fun.” The group wants to prove to its audience that “a prank doesn’t have to involve humiliation or embarrassment; it can simply be about making someone laugh, smile, or stop to notice the world around them. ”

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GAP’s response to the situation: “The safety of our store associates and customers is always our main concern. We are pleased to report that no customers, employees or mannequins were injured in this event.”

I guess the employees were scared? Or maybe they thought the “mannequins” were waiting until closing to execute an unsuspecting robbery? Whatever the employees’ thought processes were, it was a bit hasty for a group of people who were just standing in a store.

Morphsuits Hardest Ever Star Wars Quiz

It’s officially Star Wars day and there’s more than enough galaxy greatness to sate the appetite of even the biggest fans.

Star Wars Morphsuits

Morphsuits has created yet another challenge for fans: the Hardest Ever Star Wars quiz. For casual fans, there is little to no hope for you here, but for the aspiring Jedis out there, this is a solid way to test your knowledge. Everything from character trivia to actor history will be questioned. Best of luck to anyone who gives this one a shot (I scored 40%).

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If you have trouble with the quiz above, take the quiz on the Morphsuits website.